Dilluted intensity

That's how this day has been and that's how I feel all the time. I'm constantly busy, happily so, but in the moment most the time I really just want to lay around.

Today, in choir, Mrs. Fincher turned off all the lights and made us close our eyes and hold hands while we sang O Magnum Mysterium. It sounded incredible. And it felt as though it lasted for ten minutes or something. When she turned on the lights she was crying. And then she said, "It just breaks my heart that some of you will never sing again." And then the seniors gave her a big group hug... and then we started thinking about leaving... and it was so weird and unexpected. That kind of reality check, without warning. Actually, a few minutes before she said that, I was looking around, thinking about next year, how all these faces around me won't be there. It's strange to think I'm a second-semester senior right now. It sure doesn't feel like I expected it would. It just feels like normal except I have to pretend like I'm going to college next year. Which I am. Which I'm completely excited about. But it still doesn't feel real.

So the rest of the day after choir has been rather foggy. I've felt emotionally drained. Exhausted. Spent.

This past weekend was really nice because:
1. We found half of a bison sticking out of a wall.
2. The Reader's Theatre that Michelle & I spent many hours writing won first place at Southside. Which means we're finally qualified for State, after competing three other times.
3. I won first place in storytelling with Saba's favorite childhood story about kidnapped children and pretending to cut off your feet.
4. I got my first real college acceptance letter- to Warren Wilson! I won't know about financial aid until I fill out another form, but, still! They want me! I have no idea if I'll actually go there, but it's a such a nice feeling.
5. A Midsummer Night's Dream was thoroughly enjoyable and entertaining. It was so nice to be in the audience! I loved it, start to finish.

Yesterday was Casmir Pulaski Day. And not just because it was March 1st, like the Sufjan song says, but because it was the first Monday in March. Also, March means my birthday. Means I'm going to be 18 years old. Means I can buy a shotgun and go to bars. The high life.

Also yesterday I wore Karina's gray cable knit sweater, cool wrappy apple skirt, and her spaceman coat. Today I wore a green waffle shirt and a shortish skirt and purple tights and gray boots and I felt like Becky Cox.

I'm very excited about the musical ventures that I'm involved in right now. They are definitely coming along. But I don't want to say too much, because one is secret and one is easily jinxed, I think.