Cars have not been cooperating lately.
I got a flat tire last night, which has never happened to me before. Luckily, Joel was there and walked me through everything, so it was minimally stressful. But then, I went to get it fixed today, and it turns out it is unfixable. Blew the side of the tire, so I have to buy an entirely new one. Which is pretty expensive. And I hate cars, and driving them, and I know I have to buy one, but I still don't want to. So that pissed me off, and going to Walmart pissed me off, and so I pulled out in front of someone in the parking lot and didn't even care. Which is bad. I should definitely care about reckless driving.
And then tonight, I was pulling out of one of the student parking lots after I got back from blues, and I pushed down on the gas instead of the brake... if you've ever done that, you understand how physically disorienting and scary it is. Everything was fine, but I seriously could have killed someone. It really shook me up.
So, I especially hate cars right now.
I can't wait for Thanksgiving break. it's only a total of 5 days, but I have a feeling it will do me a lot of good.
The Habitote I used today at walmart had a big ole rip in the side. And I broke a pair of nail clippers this morning. Add that to my busted tire. I'm on a roll.
If you have not yet experienced the glory that is Braum's Gingerbread Ice Cream (Special Holiday Flavor), go. Right now. Drop everything you are doing. It is the best thing you will ever have ever.
I want to read Loretta Lynn's memoir. A new addition was published lately. She seems like an interesting lady.
I'm pretty tired. This is a kind of downer of a day, I guess.
Showing posts with label blues. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blues. Show all posts
10 November 2010
13 October 2010
Two Worlds
I feel like reflecting.
There's a lot floating around in my head right now, and my thoughts feel like paint splatter. But I'll go ahead with my two most recent activities of the night, Blues and the GA Media Team call.
Tonight was my fourth blues dancing class. It's gotten smaller each time since I've been, down to four tonight: Chelsea James; the instructor, Megan; Michael, a math graduate student and the lone male; and myself. I would consider us the core of the class, even before tonight. Even though there is only one guy, and even though I feel like I could be doing a better job of leading than he most the time, I really, really like blues. As far as dance goes, it's so chill. It is all about lagging. There is no rhythm, inherently. It's all whatever you and your partner are doing right then and there. And there are no specific blues moves. It's a combination of lots of other dances, but it has its own style. Whenever I've tried to explain it to people, I think it comes off very lame, something along the lines of, "Well, it's dancing to blues music, with a partner, and it's really cool...."
But it really is.
Every time Megan starts talking about "dance culture", I get kind of bashfully excited. Because I want to understand, and be a part of that, and go to competitions and meet these great people she talks about and the djs and the scene. It's terrible to be so instantly motivated. I have, what, four hours experience at this? But it is such a different world for me. My dance experience boils down to TCTTW, Charleston in AP Block, and making a fool of myself for 9th grade Woodland Cowgirls Dance Tryouts omg omg. And Pete and Michelle and I did delve pretty deeply into modern experimental dance for Einstein on the Beach (Words and Music last year). But that was still three kids who knew basically nothing about dance trying to do something edgy and bizarre and cool.
Dance is something I've always admired from a far, like rock climbing or Canada. I've never had direct experience for more than a few weeks. Now, I definitely can't say I'm not one of those people who's always wanting people to have dance parties or play better dancing music at prom. But as an art, dance is something I've only felt connected to when I'm watching Gotta Kick it Up. But blues feels so right, so within my grasp. It doesn't necessarily come easily to me; my slight tendency to be physically awkward is magnified tenfold when faced with a large mirror/physical activity/anything sexy. Blues has all of these things, and so whenever we begin class with solo blues in front of the mirror, my flexibility and fluidity go out the window. I feel like I start from square one each time. And I quickly catch up, but still. I'm fighting my un-athleticism that's haunted me since softball. Most times, this wins out. But not with blues. I have this feeling that suddenly it's going to come to me, I'm going to get it, get the pulse and the nuances and musicality that Megan is always talking about. It's already starting, on a small scale. I know it will just take time.
Then there's activism world, environmental world, Grand Aspirations and national conference calls and being accosted for vegetarianism ahhhhh. I guess what I'm feeling is this increasing sense that most people aren't as holistically connected to ideals as I am. What I mean is that I care about the environment. I think a large number, if not a majority, of my peers would agree with that statement. But the vast majority don't devote their lives to that. Which is fine. I'm not saying they should. But I do. I'm emotional, and when I get committed to someone or something, I dig in deep. So when some asshole starts picking a fight with me over how I eat, I get pretty upset, because I feel very strongly about not eating animals. It is an integral part of the person I am, because it affects me everyday and goes along with the things I care about and the activities I'm involved in. I work on gardens and Summer of Solutions and climate issues and women's empowerment because all of those things are important to me as a means of fixings the problems that I see. Vegetarianism is a part of that solution. There's no disconnect between me being involved in environmental issues and work and my dietary habits. They all stem from the same part of of who I am. There's a very good chance I'm not making sense anymore. Maybe I'm just not reacting well to the guy I met tonight who tried to argue with me about climate change, because the earth has had a much rapid change than what we're experiencing now. Except, of course, there were no people on it at that time. His response was there's nothing we can do anyway. Well, goddammit, there is something we can do about it. You can't just say "Fuck it" and doom everyone. Sorry, I can't live like that. I can't. Because I want to have kids, and I can't have kids if I'm just going to be bringing them into a world that is only going to be more poisoned and hostile and sad.
I intended this to be more about my role in GA and the national green economy scene, but that guy really got to me. And I'm frustrated because of Holly. She can't sleep with the typing. And I'm tired, too. So I guess I'll leave this at that.
There's a lot floating around in my head right now, and my thoughts feel like paint splatter. But I'll go ahead with my two most recent activities of the night, Blues and the GA Media Team call.
Tonight was my fourth blues dancing class. It's gotten smaller each time since I've been, down to four tonight: Chelsea James; the instructor, Megan; Michael, a math graduate student and the lone male; and myself. I would consider us the core of the class, even before tonight. Even though there is only one guy, and even though I feel like I could be doing a better job of leading than he most the time, I really, really like blues. As far as dance goes, it's so chill. It is all about lagging. There is no rhythm, inherently. It's all whatever you and your partner are doing right then and there. And there are no specific blues moves. It's a combination of lots of other dances, but it has its own style. Whenever I've tried to explain it to people, I think it comes off very lame, something along the lines of, "Well, it's dancing to blues music, with a partner, and it's really cool...."
But it really is.
Every time Megan starts talking about "dance culture", I get kind of bashfully excited. Because I want to understand, and be a part of that, and go to competitions and meet these great people she talks about and the djs and the scene. It's terrible to be so instantly motivated. I have, what, four hours experience at this? But it is such a different world for me. My dance experience boils down to TCTTW, Charleston in AP Block, and making a fool of myself for 9th grade Woodland Cowgirls Dance Tryouts omg omg. And Pete and Michelle and I did delve pretty deeply into modern experimental dance for Einstein on the Beach (Words and Music last year). But that was still three kids who knew basically nothing about dance trying to do something edgy and bizarre and cool.
Dance is something I've always admired from a far, like rock climbing or Canada. I've never had direct experience for more than a few weeks. Now, I definitely can't say I'm not one of those people who's always wanting people to have dance parties or play better dancing music at prom. But as an art, dance is something I've only felt connected to when I'm watching Gotta Kick it Up. But blues feels so right, so within my grasp. It doesn't necessarily come easily to me; my slight tendency to be physically awkward is magnified tenfold when faced with a large mirror/physical activity/anything sexy. Blues has all of these things, and so whenever we begin class with solo blues in front of the mirror, my flexibility and fluidity go out the window. I feel like I start from square one each time. And I quickly catch up, but still. I'm fighting my un-athleticism that's haunted me since softball. Most times, this wins out. But not with blues. I have this feeling that suddenly it's going to come to me, I'm going to get it, get the pulse and the nuances and musicality that Megan is always talking about. It's already starting, on a small scale. I know it will just take time.
Then there's activism world, environmental world, Grand Aspirations and national conference calls and being accosted for vegetarianism ahhhhh. I guess what I'm feeling is this increasing sense that most people aren't as holistically connected to ideals as I am. What I mean is that I care about the environment. I think a large number, if not a majority, of my peers would agree with that statement. But the vast majority don't devote their lives to that. Which is fine. I'm not saying they should. But I do. I'm emotional, and when I get committed to someone or something, I dig in deep. So when some asshole starts picking a fight with me over how I eat, I get pretty upset, because I feel very strongly about not eating animals. It is an integral part of the person I am, because it affects me everyday and goes along with the things I care about and the activities I'm involved in. I work on gardens and Summer of Solutions and climate issues and women's empowerment because all of those things are important to me as a means of fixings the problems that I see. Vegetarianism is a part of that solution. There's no disconnect between me being involved in environmental issues and work and my dietary habits. They all stem from the same part of of who I am. There's a very good chance I'm not making sense anymore. Maybe I'm just not reacting well to the guy I met tonight who tried to argue with me about climate change, because the earth has had a much rapid change than what we're experiencing now. Except, of course, there were no people on it at that time. His response was there's nothing we can do anyway. Well, goddammit, there is something we can do about it. You can't just say "Fuck it" and doom everyone. Sorry, I can't live like that. I can't. Because I want to have kids, and I can't have kids if I'm just going to be bringing them into a world that is only going to be more poisoned and hostile and sad.
I intended this to be more about my role in GA and the national green economy scene, but that guy really got to me. And I'm frustrated because of Holly. She can't sleep with the typing. And I'm tired, too. So I guess I'll leave this at that.
07 October 2010
oh honey you turn me on, I'm a radio
I'm a country station, I'm a little bit corny, I'm a wildwood flower waving for ya.
I haven't been able to get that song out of my head for a few days now.
Also, I didn't sleep last night. At all. Along with Zach, Breana and Flannery. I finished my H2P paper at approximately 7am, with enough time to go back to my room. I did catch a good 30 minutes or so on the CSES couch, only to awake and find myself in the middle of a study session with strangers. Who did not acknowledge my presence whatsoever, even when I stood up and left. It was a little odd.
(I guess that's my appeal to not read this too closely because I'm not really thinking)
But the stress for this week is over! Well, sort of. Second bio test coming up real soon on Monday. If I don't do well on this... I don't know what I'll do. I guess I'm going to study right now.
Did I blog about leaving my laptop on top of my car? Because I did, and it stayed on top all the way up college, through the square and the loop around the library. I need to bake something tasty for the wonderful mystery man who found it.
SPEAKING OF WHICH MY MOTHER BAKED PUMPKIN BREAD AND DIDN'T EVEN TELL ME.
...I shouldn't be allowed to call this a blog. This is the most trivial crap just dumped from my brain.
OH WELL.
TOMORROW IS LISA FRANK/BROWN DAY. can't wait. Litmag prophecy fulfilled.
so much nutella. so much.
I want to get better at blues dancing. Or just dancing. What I love about all these passionate people I keep meeting, whether they're farmers or yoga instructors or banjo players, is the way they pull you into their world. There are all these intensive communities of weird hobbyists and they all know each other. Meghan, my blues teacher, for example, went to LA last weekend, is going to Austin tomorrow, and to Dallas for Halloween. All for these big dance events. And she'll start talking about all these people she danced with from all over the country and we can stay with if we want to come with her... and it just seems like so much fun. I guess I'm already starting to make those connections among the green economy kids, but it's nice to see into different groups. Interesting, anyway.
School is pretty good right now. I think my paper turned out pretty well, and my bio lab mid term was pretty easy (and got me out of class 2 hours early!), and my italian test is over, and I don't have anyting to worry about tomorrow. At all.
bedtime for bonzo.
I haven't been able to get that song out of my head for a few days now.
Also, I didn't sleep last night. At all. Along with Zach, Breana and Flannery. I finished my H2P paper at approximately 7am, with enough time to go back to my room. I did catch a good 30 minutes or so on the CSES couch, only to awake and find myself in the middle of a study session with strangers. Who did not acknowledge my presence whatsoever, even when I stood up and left. It was a little odd.
(I guess that's my appeal to not read this too closely because I'm not really thinking)
But the stress for this week is over! Well, sort of. Second bio test coming up real soon on Monday. If I don't do well on this... I don't know what I'll do. I guess I'm going to study right now.
Did I blog about leaving my laptop on top of my car? Because I did, and it stayed on top all the way up college, through the square and the loop around the library. I need to bake something tasty for the wonderful mystery man who found it.
SPEAKING OF WHICH MY MOTHER BAKED PUMPKIN BREAD AND DIDN'T EVEN TELL ME.
...I shouldn't be allowed to call this a blog. This is the most trivial crap just dumped from my brain.
OH WELL.
TOMORROW IS LISA FRANK/BROWN DAY. can't wait. Litmag prophecy fulfilled.
so much nutella. so much.
I want to get better at blues dancing. Or just dancing. What I love about all these passionate people I keep meeting, whether they're farmers or yoga instructors or banjo players, is the way they pull you into their world. There are all these intensive communities of weird hobbyists and they all know each other. Meghan, my blues teacher, for example, went to LA last weekend, is going to Austin tomorrow, and to Dallas for Halloween. All for these big dance events. And she'll start talking about all these people she danced with from all over the country and we can stay with if we want to come with her... and it just seems like so much fun. I guess I'm already starting to make those connections among the green economy kids, but it's nice to see into different groups. Interesting, anyway.
School is pretty good right now. I think my paper turned out pretty well, and my bio lab mid term was pretty easy (and got me out of class 2 hours early!), and my italian test is over, and I don't have anyting to worry about tomorrow. At all.
bedtime for bonzo.
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